He Said / She Said

He said...

Society depicts dating as fun, exciting and new but let's be honest; finding a date sucks a lot.
Often times you find yourself at the mercy of friends setting you up, internet dating sites or the all-famous get drunk-athon at the local bar.
The triumphs and tribulations are experienced by everyone. Seems like the hell of dating transcends gender, sexual orientation, age and race.
Everyone has those moments right before they walk up: sweaty hands and second guessing "technique". Even the most confident are worried about the sweat stains, stanky breath and the dredded opening line.
My suggestion for mustering through the shenanigans of trying to pick someone up? Be yourself. It sounds incredibly stereotypical and romantic-comedy like but I believe it to be true.
Use the tools readily available in your dating arsenal: humor, intellect, coyness, or your stellar dance moves. Some call it swagger. There is no reason to tell little white lies to impress because they will only bite you in the ass later.
If you are truly interested (outside of just sex) then you want to be yourself. We've all done it. You say you're 21, but really 19. You pretend to be interested in post-modern philosophy but you have no clue what those words even mean.
Talk about things that interest you, but also remain open to their interests. Word to the wise: ask questions! Engage in conversation. (gasp!) Don't lie about knowing realism's influence in art; ask what those are, and, God-forbid, carry on a conversation.
I think the best technique would be to choose the information given very wisely. We all have bad character traits, skeletons in our closet or information that's just embarrassing.
I debate for the university and am often gone multiple weekends a month for competitions, which makes dating very difficult.
When I meet someone I tell them I debate (because its important to me) but I wait and let some sort of connection develop before telling them how often I am gone.
It is important to build a connection, allow them to become interested so that those 'problems' aren't deal breakers but issues to be worked through.
In your first conversation, no need to brag about your two– minute keg stand or your staunch position on Obama. Start with casual conversation and use your surroundings.
In a book-store ask them for help picking between two books or in a bar ask what drink to buy. Class is the perfect place for picking people up.
Ask for help studying or work on a group project together. Picking someone up is a true art, one I have yet to master. But the failure of one attempt prepares you for the success of another.  Be prepared, the dating world is a brutal battle field.
Everyone shows interest differently but let them show their interest. Don't force it. Don't look for a signal. If they are digging you they'll let you know!
If their response is off-putting or disconnected then finish the conversation, and excuse yourself from the situation. No harm, no foul. Don't let this scare you! I think everyone should ask themselves, before picking someone up, what's the worst thing that could happen? Answer: they say no. Build a bridge and get over it. You're in college! A giant buffet of potential flings, dates and relationships. It will be hard, but probably worth it.
 

She said...

Imagine the second you lay your eyes on a beautiful girl. You realize you need to talk to her. The world stops spinning and you have just one chance to impress her. How will you do it?
You scramble your brain for that perfect line. How does this sound?  “Hi, my name is milk. I’ll do your body good?” No. No. No. That doesn’t have enough flash. Hi, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee falling for you. No, that won’t do either. You should introduce yourself.
It won’t make you sound original or showy, but simplicity usually does the trick. As for all those guys who insist on using cheesy pick-up lines, do not feel confused when the girl simply stares at you in bewilderment as to why you thought that line would work.
Picking up a girl usually has two budding paths. It reminds me of a potential car wreck where one mistake can force the car to swirl uncontrollably and result in a “game over”.
The difficulty in discussing this issue is that every girl is different.  What would have worked for one girl will probably lead another girl to fling her drink at you.  Different cultures, ideas, morals, beliefs, and outlooks on life result in every girl expecting to be approached differently.
Some girls prefer the smooth talking aggressive Casanova. The guy who could just say “the” and have you melting in your place. As a girl, I will not lie and say that I have not fallen for the slick talking bad boy. I have fallen face first without having someone to help pick me up. If these guys have the power to captivate a girl with simple words then why would they settle for just one girl?
Other girls prefer the quirky shy guy who takes forever to say hi. These guys strike me as cute, yet annoying. I do not have all day to wait for you to grab enough courage to say hi. What then? Will it take another hour or two for you to tell me your name?
 Whichever the approach, the guy should try to have a sprinkle of confidence, a dash of wit and a bucket full of luck.
The environment is also crucial. A situation can usually foretell how the rest of the relationship will head. Laura Carr detests meeting guys at bars. “I need to meet a guy in an environment that is not dark and where I can actually see him.” The best environment, according to Carr, would be a relaxed place such as a bookstore or a park.
For those who opt to meet someone in a quiet place the situation of starting a good conversation arises. What will you talk about? Should I devise a pre-made list of “yes topics?” Sounds extreme, yet I do not want to be the reason a good encounter turns dull.
 The environment can also aid in starting the conversation. Carr does not suggest telling the girl your life story. Carr said, “I don’t expect to see your college transcript. The first encounter reminds me of an interview. I want to know just enough to make me want to give you a second chance,”  Carr said.
Now, in these modern times, more and more girls are taking the initiative and making the first move. I am a very impatient person and if a guy takes too long to come up to me then I have no problem approaching him. Call me an aggressive girl, but I know what I want and know what I have to do to get it.
However, some girls still prefer the old fashioned traditions.
These girls like being approached by a guy. Any particular reason? No. That is the way it has always been. Sophomore communication major Alyssa Bundis holds that old fashioned view. “I like it when the guy comes to me. It makes me feel special,” Bundis said.
Again, every girl is different and there will never be a perfect way to pick up girls.